I tend to be
Stuck in minor key
Then pale monotony
Holds me down





But luckily
You are so dear to me
In your charity
I go home





I'm so sorry
This melancholy
Holds me down




But luckily
You are so dear to me
In your charity
I go home

"It's so beautiful here," she says, "This moment now, this moment now."
And I never thought I would find her here
Flannel and satin, my four walls transformed
But she's looking at me, straight to center
No room at all for any other thought
And I know I don't want this
Oh, I swear, I don't want this
There's a reason not to want this
But I forgot





In the terminal, she sleeps on my shoulder, hair falling forward, mouth all askew
Fluorescent announcements beat their wings overhead
"Passengers missing - we're looking for you"
And she dreams through the noise, her weight against me
Faced pressed into the corduroy grooves
Maybe it means nothing
Maybe it means nothing
Maybe it means nothing
But I'm afraid to move





And the words, they're everything and nothing
I wanna search for her in the off-hand remarks
Who are you, taking coffee, no sugar?
Who are you, echoing street signs?
Who are you, the stranger in the shell of a lover?
Dark curtains drawn by the passage of time
Oh, words, like rain, how sweet the sound
"Well, anyway," she says, "I'll see you around"

I'm not going to try and keep this all philosophical and lovey and say I'd spend my final days with friends and loved ones. Fuck that. I mean, I'd see them, sure, but what would I REALLY be doing?


Fucking and getting fucked up.


I'd do every thing I've ever wanted to do in my life. I'd drink and fuck and try every drug under the sun. I'd steal and dance naked in the rain and tell the world what I really think of it.


Which probably proves that I'm crazy, have too much rage, and have extreme issues with sexuality and what society deems as normal.


And knowing my luck, the world really is going to end in 2012, but without proof, I'll keep playing it safe, just like I've been doing for 22 years.


And, fuck me, I just realized my birthday is in a couple of weeks. FML.

"Don't be scared to speak. Don't speak with someone's tooth. Don't bargain when you're weak. Don't take that sharp abuse. Some patients can't be saved, but that burden's not on you."

Why Breaking Dawn Must Be Made Into a Movie


With New Moon likely to make yet another metric fuckload of money this weekend we need to find the bright side to the entire Twilight mania. There must be something good that comes from this awful Mormon fantasy that seems to have invaded our culture on every front. That something is the eventual movie version of Breaking Dawn.

Even though New Moon has made a bazillion dollars and even though the third Twilight book, Eclipse, is already filming, Summit has declined to announce the fourth and final Twilight book as a movie. There's a good reason for this: Breaking Dawn is completely fucking insane, and it is probably totally unfilmable. But if they do film it... man, we are in for a treat.

Breaking Dawn opens with Bella Swan, the lacteal heroine of the series, finally getting married to Edward Cullen, the mopey vampire hero. They go off to honeymoon on Isle Esme, a Brazilian island the Cullen clan owns (this is already ridiculous beyond belief. Imagine a vampire going snorkeling; it basically happens in this book), and Edward is afraid to fuck his new bride. The reason: he's super strong and she's just a human - Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex type of situation here. But Bella wears him down and Edward throws it in her - and knocks her the fuck out, leaving her badly bruised.

Let's go over that again: Edward fucks Bella into unconsciousness. This alone should have you running to Fandango to pre-order your tickets, but it only gets better.

Despite being knocked out cold by his sexual style (and having the headboard destroyed), Bella goes back to Edward for seconds. This time he knocks her up. Yes, an undead vampire apparently has enough viable sperm to impregnate a human woman while fucking her off the coast of Rio de Janero. Stephenie Meyer, you fabulous idiot!

The baby in Bella's belly starts growing incredibly fast. And it starts hurting Bella, as each kick it gives has the super strength of a vampire behind it. As it grows, Bella gets sicker, and then the good stuff starts. The baby kicks so hard it breaks Bella's ribs and then severs her spine. Are you imagining Kristen Stewart wearing a fake pregnancy belly and pretending to have been suddenly crippled by her own fetus? Because I am and it's making me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Oh wait, I missed something. Edward is completely freaked out about the baby, fearing it will kill Bella. He tries to convince her to get an abortion (but seriously, how could she? Vampires are tough to kill even in this shitty series), and goes so far as asking Native American wolfboy Jacob to impregnate his wife so that she can have the baby she desperately wants. I'm dizzy with how ridiculous this is, and we're just getting started.

Eventually the baby starts to get born and Bella is dying. The baby has telepathy, by the way, so everybody can read its thoughts while it's in the womb, and it turns out to have an essentially adult mind. Like Alia in Dune; I would accuse Stephenie Meyer of ripping this off, but anyone who thinks that Meyer might have read Frank Herbert has never been within spitting distance of Twilight. The woman is a moron.

In a moment that demands to be shown on the silver screen, Edward gives Bella an emergency C-section with his fucking teeth. It's like something out of XTro, for the love of God. It's so horrible it's brilliant, and this scene alone is why I remain firm in declaring that David Cronenberg must direct Breaking Dawn. This is surely his movie.

Once the baby is out, Bella gets vamped by Edward, as she's about to die at any moment. Then comes the most astonishing turn of events in 21st century literature, and possibly in the entire history of awful fiction aimed at tweens: Jacob the werewolf, who has been madly in love with Bella, sees the new baby girl and immediately imprints on her. What this means, in layman's terms, is that he falls in love with the baby.

I want to pull this out on its own: Jacob falls in love with a baby.

The book makes no bones about this; while Jacob doesn't want to fuck the baby right off the bat, he can't stand to be away from it and visits everyday. His love has been transferred from Bella to the baby (who has the tongue shattering name Renesmee), and because of the science behind imprinting he'll love her forever. So one day he's going to stick his wolf dick in this girl that he see as a bloody newborn. Romance is not dead, it's just being abused by insane Mormon writers.

There's more in Breaking Dawn - the Volturi come back, for one thing - but these are the main amazing events that demand this book to be turned into a film. I will not rest until I have seen a movie in which a werewolf falls in love with a baby. Hell, once I've seen a werewolf fall in love with a baby I may quit movie watching - I will have seen the ultimate culmination of a century of cinema. The entire film of Breaking Dawn would play like the weirdest exploitation film since Doris Wishman died - brutal sex, bizarre body horror, unbelievable pedophilia.

A werewolf falling in love with a baby. This is why Thomas Edison invented this shit in the first place. So we could see a werewolf fall in love with a baby.

 I don't know where I'm going with this. I just keep writing about this couple in my head, and I'm not even sure if I should continue with it. Original stories aren't really my calling, I fear. 


But since you all are my friends, I figure you will give me feedback. A yay or nay to continue.


And keep in mind that this has not been edited at all. This is rough. Rough in the roughest sense of rough.











( This is how they say goodbye. )

 Title: Early Winter
Author: Adrian
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance/Angst
Characters/Pairings: Jacob/Bella
Short summary: Bella's been turned, and Jacob reflects on the now and the girl he once knew.
Disclaimer: All belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
Warnings: Okay, not really a warning in the sense that it's meant, but I have never written Jacob/Bella, and I haven't written anything at all in a while. Go easy on me.

He doesn't dazzle her. His smile doesn't make her weak, and she's got a hunch that his kiss wouldn't leave her breathless. When he walks in the room, she doesn't drop what she's doing and stare. When he seems angry, she isn't concerned, isn't worried; instead, she's angry, too. Irritated. Wants to punch him with his own clenched fists and tell him he's a fool. So when the idea of the two of them occurs to her, when he drops hints and stares at her with sad eyes, she isn't overly concerned about falling off the wagon, so to speak, and doing something she might later regret.


But he's got something no one else does. He's got the upper hand in this game of cards, and she worries that she might call his bluff. 


That boy's the only one who makes her laugh.

My grandmother's name is Mary Louise Tomlinson. When we grandkids were all babies, she wanted us to call her Mama Louise. That proved to be too difficult, so we somehow sputtered out Mama Ease. Now we've dropped the Mama, and she is what she is. 


I got a phone call yesterday from my parents. Another one today. I need to go home because Ease's health is failing. I mean, it's expected. She's 84. But it's never easy to hear things like this. That woman loves me so unconditionally, and I love her so much it hurts to think of her gone. Sure, I live hundreds of miles away, and I talk to her maybe once every few months. But it's that knowledge that she's still here in this world that makes me feel better. That she's living. 


This is the woman that made me butterbeans and cornbread and mashed them together when I was three years old and refused to eat because I didn't want to get 'fat'. This is the woman that always had candy bars hidden in the pantry when I got too thin and too weak and needed help. This is the woman that would plot for me to come visit, saying she needed help with her t.v., and when I would walk in, surround me with fried chicken and turnips and mashed potatoes and every other fattening thing she could come up with because she knew I needed it.


That woman has my heart, and she's fixing to leave me for good.

Title: Rain
Author: Adrian
Rating: R. I curse. My bad.
Genre: Romance/Angst
Characters/Pairings: Emmett/Bella
Short summary: Idea came from reading the prompt set at  twiriginal, and partly from the Patti Griffin song "Rain". This is my first dive into the Emmett/Bella pairing. So sorry if it's horrendous. AU fic set after "Eclipse" and "Breaking Dawn". Bella has been changed, and things aren't going as well as everyone thought they would.
Disclaimer: All belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Bow in reverence, bitches.

Side Note: Thank you so much to 

sporkedd and vi0lent_delight for being my beta readers!!!

 

 

 

Title: The Dreamer
Author: Adrian
Rating: PG because Edward says a worty-dird. :p
Genre: Romance/Angst
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella
Short summary: I was terribly bored and in the mood to write something, and this is the result. Basically Edward's musings while sitting in the hospital with Bella at the end of "Twilight". (And, also,

redhead_rampant, I never would have posted this if it weren't for you and your excellent beta-ness!)
Disclaimer: All belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Bow in reverence, bitches.

 

 

 

Title: Salvation
Author: Adrian
Rating: G? Seriously, it's short and sweet and everyone can read it
Genre: Romance/Angst
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella
Short summary: Edward POV in 2nd person. One night, while Bella is sleeping, Edward reflects on life before and after her. Currently reading New Moon and thought of this after reading Carlisle and Bella's conversation on her birthday. My first fic for the fandom.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all characters. Cause she kicks ass like that.